My friend Jessika died on June 27, 2012. It was such a shock. It really shook me up. When I first heard about it, I cried. I didn't expect my reaction to be what it was like. I obsessed over her death and I still can't stop thinking about it.
I went to her memorial service today and it was amazing. They had people get up and share stories about Jessika. It was very uplifting and although sad, it was a very awesome way to remember someone. I wish I would have thought about that when my dad died. I shared a story about when we were little and my parents had to go to the hospital. Jessika's mom picked me and my brother up and we went to their house. I was very worried about my dad. He had a lot of blood everywhere, but Jessika took my mind off of the matter. We talked about music and laughed and I will always remember that. Also, we always called each other "dudette" and we thought the fact that our parents worked at eBay was AWESOME!!! :)
We moved away from each other, but we had facebook to keep us in touch. When my dad died, she messaged me and told me to text her so we could talk and hang out. I never did. I regret that so much. I really would have texted her, but my life was so hectic and I was so depressed. I hope that she knows that I feel so bad about that. I will never, ever do that again. I will always keep in touch with all my friends and family. I was just going through a bad time. (I still am.)
I learned from this experience that you never know the effect someone has on you until they die. She taught me that life should be filled with color and fun. She was the nicest person and she would give you the shirt off of her back. The world lost a bit of light.
I like to think that my dad welcomed her into the spirit world. That he told her not to worry and that everything was going to be okay. I can really see that happening.
I don't like death. Death is bad for the people left on Earth. They have no worries in the Spirit World. Life is hard, but it is hard for a reason. And how we live it makes a difference.
Thanks for reading this post! I love you Dad and Grandpa and I love you Jessika!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
The Future Of Us
I am reading this book called The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Macker. It is very interesting. It is about these kids in 1996 that get an AOL CD rom (nostalgia!!) and put it in their computer and Facebook pops up. And it's 15 years into the future. They get to see who they marry and what their life is like. They get confused because their future selfs talk about ipads, texting, netflicks, Harry Potter, and other stuff like that. It is very good.
Their future changes with the little things they do in life. They can manipulate things. Everytime they log onto facebook, their life is different than it was the previous time they logged in. It can get confusing, but it is very good.
I like this book because it is meshing real life with fiction. This could never happen in real life. But, the people are real and likeable. :)
I am obsessed with this book. I read Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and I will continue to read his books.
The moral of this story is just to live and not worry about what will happen in the future because life is too short to worry about it. And we can't worry about it.
Their future changes with the little things they do in life. They can manipulate things. Everytime they log onto facebook, their life is different than it was the previous time they logged in. It can get confusing, but it is very good.
I like this book because it is meshing real life with fiction. This could never happen in real life. But, the people are real and likeable. :)
I am obsessed with this book. I read Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher and I will continue to read his books.
The moral of this story is just to live and not worry about what will happen in the future because life is too short to worry about it. And we can't worry about it.
I love you daddy
One time I was at a Cobra Starship concert with my family. My dad said that I should go and have fun in the mosh pit, so I went in with my friend. I had a really bad anxiety attack and started to cry. My dad took my hands and started to dance with me and made me feel better. After having fun and dancing and singing along to the music with my mom and dad, I had another anxiety attack and we had to leave the concert early. As we got into the car, my dad went in the back seat with me and had me lay on his lap. He also got me a sprite and comforted me. I love this story because it makes me feel happy and it shows what a wonderful father my dad is.
One day, I got asked to Homecoming. It was my first dance with a boy. My dad was so excited, when ever I got asked to a dance, my parents went nuts. They had to plan everything. But this particular dance, I was not excited at all to go with this guy. We went and looked for dresses and I had a melt down in the dressing room. My dad felt bad and he told my mom to try on a purple dress to make me laugh, but she wouldn't. So he took the dress and put it on and it was really silly. I was so thankful for that moment. My parents said that I didn't have to go to the dance with that person and the guy ended up having sex with the girl and she was pregnant after wards. He was a bad influence and he was really ugly!
Me and my dad liked to do puzzles together. We would stay up really late on weekends trying to get them done! We modge podged one of the New York City sky line and it was so much fun. That is so special to me!
My dad always took me out on daddy daughter dates. One morning he took me to Mimi's Cafe and we got some Crousaints and eggs and ham. We always had nice talks about school and church. I am so happy that my dad took the time out of his busy day to dine with me.
Before church when I was about 8 or 9 my dad would paint my nails on the kitchen counter. It was so much fun because would always do it perfectly.
When my dad went to school for esthetician school, he gave me facials and pedicures and manicures and he even waxed my legs!
My dad cross-stitched beautifully. He taught me how to and we would sit as a family and watch movies and cross-stitch together.
One time we were going to try to make home made tempura vegetables, my dad bought the batter and started to make it and they were not turning out right. The batter is supposed to be used for deep fryers. We just used a pot of really hot oil. I am so lucky that my dad was a chef. When my mom worked and he was home, he would make us lunch or dinner and it was so delicious. We had Pasta with broccoli and it was in a butter sauce. For homecoming one year, he cooked dinner for me and my date and he made chicken kabobs with rice. And we cannot forget the home made breaded chicken with rice or pasta.
One day, I got asked to Homecoming. It was my first dance with a boy. My dad was so excited, when ever I got asked to a dance, my parents went nuts. They had to plan everything. But this particular dance, I was not excited at all to go with this guy. We went and looked for dresses and I had a melt down in the dressing room. My dad felt bad and he told my mom to try on a purple dress to make me laugh, but she wouldn't. So he took the dress and put it on and it was really silly. I was so thankful for that moment. My parents said that I didn't have to go to the dance with that person and the guy ended up having sex with the girl and she was pregnant after wards. He was a bad influence and he was really ugly!
Me and my dad liked to do puzzles together. We would stay up really late on weekends trying to get them done! We modge podged one of the New York City sky line and it was so much fun. That is so special to me!
My dad always took me out on daddy daughter dates. One morning he took me to Mimi's Cafe and we got some Crousaints and eggs and ham. We always had nice talks about school and church. I am so happy that my dad took the time out of his busy day to dine with me.
Before church when I was about 8 or 9 my dad would paint my nails on the kitchen counter. It was so much fun because would always do it perfectly.
When my dad went to school for esthetician school, he gave me facials and pedicures and manicures and he even waxed my legs!
My dad cross-stitched beautifully. He taught me how to and we would sit as a family and watch movies and cross-stitch together.
One time we were going to try to make home made tempura vegetables, my dad bought the batter and started to make it and they were not turning out right. The batter is supposed to be used for deep fryers. We just used a pot of really hot oil. I am so lucky that my dad was a chef. When my mom worked and he was home, he would make us lunch or dinner and it was so delicious. We had Pasta with broccoli and it was in a butter sauce. For homecoming one year, he cooked dinner for me and my date and he made chicken kabobs with rice. And we cannot forget the home made breaded chicken with rice or pasta.
Facebook!
I don't really like facebook. Sometimes, I want to delete mine, but I have my family and my pictures of my family that are on there and I would never want to delete it. If that makes any sense at all. But really, sometimes I want to ask people, "Who cares?!?" I wish people would just talk about interesting things and not stupid stuff.
Other than that, have a great day!
Other than that, have a great day!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Life.
So, I have been thinking a lot lately. My life has been really hard. I choose to think that it will get better. Hopefully it will.
The other night, I had the best night of my life. I performed at a coffee shop with one of my bestest friends, Ben. It was so fun. We sounded so great together. Another one of our dear friends came and saw us that night. Kaiti. These people are the reason why I'm happy. Ben and Kaiti. I can't thank them enough for everything that they have done for me emotionally.
After our performance, Ben drove my jeep back to his house. We totally went crazy listening to our favorite music. We were high on life. Our band was born!! We met Kaiti at his house and the three of us went in Ben's truck at an elementary school parking lot. We talked for hours. Literally hours. We talked about our feelings and experiences and we opened up in a way that no one can understand. That was the moment I knew that we would all be friends forever. Ben let us drive his awesome truck! It was so powerful!! After that, we decided to make a fire pit and talk some more. We stayed up until 1 in the morning. I am so thankful for this connection that I made with my friends. I had the best night of my life and I will never forget it.
I love you Ben and Kaiti. So much!
The other night, I had the best night of my life. I performed at a coffee shop with one of my bestest friends, Ben. It was so fun. We sounded so great together. Another one of our dear friends came and saw us that night. Kaiti. These people are the reason why I'm happy. Ben and Kaiti. I can't thank them enough for everything that they have done for me emotionally.
After our performance, Ben drove my jeep back to his house. We totally went crazy listening to our favorite music. We were high on life. Our band was born!! We met Kaiti at his house and the three of us went in Ben's truck at an elementary school parking lot. We talked for hours. Literally hours. We talked about our feelings and experiences and we opened up in a way that no one can understand. That was the moment I knew that we would all be friends forever. Ben let us drive his awesome truck! It was so powerful!! After that, we decided to make a fire pit and talk some more. We stayed up until 1 in the morning. I am so thankful for this connection that I made with my friends. I had the best night of my life and I will never forget it.
I love you Ben and Kaiti. So much!
Looking For City Lights
This is our band name. Looking For City Lights. The city lights represent what is good in life and we are all looking for the good things in life. Life is too short to spend on bad people, places, and entertainment. Don't waste a second. And just run. :)
I'm sick of life, but there's nothing I can do about it.
I am to the point where I am totally burnt out. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help. I just want to cry.
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